Take precautions while you are sneezing
by Fakinaway
Summary: OC. A stranger enters the infamous district Kabukicho. She met Gintoki head on, literally. Rated T for precautions.
1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note = Well kind of my first fanfic as I deleted the previous one. I was not confident enough sadly.**

**I know this is a veeeeeery short chapter, but there is a catch. I can promise to update every two days well yes I am a student haaa so indeed time is always a problem.**

**Alright enough whining**

**~ONWARDS WITH THE STORY~**

Chapter One:

She, was woman in her 20s. Her dark deep green wavy hair down to her waist with striking crimson eyes. Her hair was up in a messy bun as she lazily retied her hair. She trudged along the district of Kabukicho filled with thugs and woman in kimonos under umbrellas. She, on the other hand was wearing a faded battered blue yakuza. She was hungry, with no destination. Her face sunken, she sways as she walks. The sweltering hot sun was at no mercy.

"My, my, young lady. You have got a fantastic body and looks, why don't you join our new hostess club errhhhmm? We are currently recruiting." A scrawny man with an annoying face appeared in front of her. She looked to her left to see a grand looking entrance, with signs of adultery.

She shooked her head and moved aside. The man, rather angry shouted for assistance. "She will make a good addition." Three men chased her and attempted to grab hold of her. She managed to uppercut one of them and cut the other two with her katana. Passers-by gasped. Her fallen hair covered her face. She continued walking without a word.

"You bastard bitch. Don't get cocky!" A group of men from the club aforementioned broke into a run after her.

"Geez, what an annoying city." She groaned. With the few ounces of energy she had left, she broke into a run. Having no idea where to go, she ran along the main road.

"This is a wild city, why isn't there a single police officer patroling for crying out lo-" She clashed head on with a natural white permhead. He just exited the convenience store.

"Aaahhhh, what the hell is with you woman, can't you see... OI! OI! People haven't finish talking and your off running geez how old are you, aren't you fully grown with this and that-" He stopped short as a group of thugs ran past him. He realised his plastic bag containing a cartoon of strawberry milk was gone.

Enraged, he started running.

**~Edit: I am writing & updating by phone, so please kindly forgive me for minor mistakes. *You'll get a jar of Nutella*~**


	2. Chapter 2

**Author's Note = I hope you guys find it funny :I , I have absolutely no confidence in writing out humour. If you find it peculiar, forgive me ho ho oh and if it doesn't make sense please oh please tell me!**

**Now then **

**~LEGGO~**

Chapter Two:

"Mother of milk, thank god mother of milk." The woman kissed the cartoon of strawberry milk as she kept on running. She looked behind, to her annoyance, the thugs were still after her. They had their weapons out on their hands. "What hooligans... Oh my god just to recruit me?!" She yelled in frustration. She was decelerating fast. Her body was at its peak of being dead worn out. She had not eaten for quite some days. Beads of perspiration rolled down her neck. Her back was soaked with sweat. Her tanned skin glistened under the sun. Her hands violently swiping her hair out of her face. Her head turned left and right vigorously, looking for a hiding spot. Her dead brain wrecked for ideas.

"_CHOTTO MATE KUDASAI YOH_! Give me back my precious milk, woman!" A voice rang out. The natural permhead came sprinting, right behind the thugs.

"UOOHH!" Distracted by the shout, she lost her footwork and tripped. She fell just as the permhead reached her, with a flying kick after stepping the thugs heads as support.

The next thing, Gintoki knew, he had his body flung towards the fallen thugs.

"Oh, that was very dangerous. You almost landed on a ladybug. Killing is no good you know." A burly green Amanto with horns facing downwards on the both sides of his head, messy hair and wore an apron, was on his knees, lifting up a ladybug on his fingers. Gintoki's face comically drained as he shakily stood up and bowed, while profusely saying sorry. The woman, seeing the situation, got up and ran again.

"OI! WHERE THE HELL YOU THINK YOU'RE GOING? Come back here and give me back my milk!" Gintoki screamed as he ran along.

"For hell sake, why is he after for only a cartoon of milk? Edo people are annoying." Deep within her thoughts, she did not realised she had changed direction. She had made a right turn towards a dead end alleyway. Her eyes scanned the area. There were several trash bins around.

The moment she opened one of the trash bins, she stopped her movements and stared. "Ah ye-" She slammed the lid back. She opened again to confirmed her sanity. "You b-" She slammed it back again. Just when she opened the lid again, a full grown man with noticeable long black hair stood up inside the trash bin. Gintoki arrived just to kicked the person in the head.

**BOOM!**

An explosion happened right where they stood.


	3. Chapter 3

**Author's Note = Forgive me for the extremely short chapter, Im currently travelling so its a pain to find wifi. Oh and Im on my phone, and its such a pain so please kindly forgive me for any minor mistakes. I'll edit once I get home **

**What. This is life.**

**~Ho ho~**

Chapter Three:

"Gin-chan, you almost died over a box of stupid strawberry milk? I did not raised you to be that desperate eventhough we are so poor. Mother is so dissappointed."

"Cartoon of milk and whose fault is it our foodsupply finished so quickly hmmmm?"

"Who cares about strawberry milk."

"Strawberry milk is why I didn't die in the explosion, baka-"

Kagura attacked Gintoki. She attempted to strangle the permhead.

"Yeah right Gin-san. Anyway, why was Katsura-san there with you in the alleyway?" A pair of glasses asked. **_[Shinpachi: OI! OI!] [AU: I suck at this.] [Kagura: Yeah you do. Go wear glasses.]_**

"Zura?"

"Zura ja nai, Katsura da. I was waiting in the trash bin for the trash trunk to come and pick me up. The trash trunk will pass by the Embassy so I was planning to bomb the Embassy." A voice behind the curtain on Gintoki's right.

Kagura pulled the curtain aside. A man will long black hair sat up on his bed. His arms crossed and had a bandage wrap around his head.

"Where is that woman anyway?"

...

"Ahhh, Im still pissed that thief got away with my milk ahhhh Shinpachi."

"Gin-san, just let it go. It was well just a cartoon of strawberry milk, you know."

The morning at Yorozuya hideout was typical. Gintoki was brushing his teeth while watching his huge crush on the television. Kagura was too lazy to get out of her wardrobe. Glasses, **_[Shin- *ahem* Glasses: OI OI WHAT DID I DO WRONG.]_** on the other hand, was mopping the floor.

Kagura headed towards the toilet then yelled,

"Gin-chan, we are out of toilet planks."

"Toilet paper, toilet paper. Shinpachi go buy."

"Oi, oi, what is this. I am not a maid in this household."

"Aahaha, fine whatever I'll go. I need my strawberry milk and the latest JUMP issue anyway."

...

Gintoki exited the convenience store with dead fish like eyes. He yawned for all he cares. He scanned the cover JUMP magazine as he made his way back.

"Get her! She hit Aniki's shoulder!"

The sounds of hurried footsteps traveled. Gintoki turned his attention just as the woman, in her 20s, green hair with crimson eyes in faded blue yakuza collided with the permhead.


	4. Chapter 4

**Author's Note = I am so sorry for late update, please forgive me *Bows* I am indeed still traveling though.**

**Honestly, I write when I have the mood or idea though, I don't really plan anything out and ah I kinda wrote this before I fell asleep, I could not recall what I wanted to continue :I. **

**~Meh~**

Chapter Four:

"You! Wh-"

Before Gintoki could say anything anymore, the woman dashed off again. However, this time around, Gintoki managed to secure his plastic bag, containing a cartoon of strawberry milk. He looked around, scanning for his other newly bought item. The cries of thugs got louder than it got softer as they passed. Gintoki slowly stood up. He brushed the dust off him. He picked his nose with his pinky.

"Hmm, something is definitely not right here. That woman. My strawberry milk ah she stole my strawberry milk. My strawberry milk is with me so its fine isn't it."

Beads of perspiration appear comically raining down his face. A vein popped on his forehead.

"What a hot day hn." He grinned his sadistic grin.

Then it hit him.

"JUMP! GIVE ME BACK MY JUMP."

...

~"The Woman" POV~

_Ah why did I grab JUMP. Mother of milk why?_ I looked behind to see they were still chasing after me. _Geez, its not like his shoulder broke or anything._

The white permhead man. He seems familiar. I had a headache and my mind was foggy. I was on alert though to make sure I did not make a wrong turn.

I glanced behind again.

_Oh I did not know his hair was that curly._

I made a sharp turn again.

_Ah he has red eyes_

_Ah,_

_Wait-_

_W- Why,_

_Why can I imagine his face so well._

_Ah,_

_His getting closer._

_His angry I think._

"EEEHHHHHH!" I yelled. This man is indeed after me. _Oh my god what a pathetic man. Three days ago his was after his milk now for a JUMP._

"OI, YOU BASTARD. WHY IS IT ALWAYS ME. GIVE ME BACK MY JUMP YOU THIEF." **_[Author: There there Gintoki -pats-] [Gintoki: URUSEI NA! YOU B-] [Author: Shut it before I cut your screentime]_**

_Hmm should I return his JUMP? Nah. Don't feel like it._


	5. Chapter 5

**Author's Note = Please oh please forgive me for my later than every two days update :* , school is starting in less than 30hours here. It has been 1hr 40mins since 2014 began (well while I'm typing)**

**I am really really not confident about me writing out humour, so if its annoying or not entertaining or simply does not make any sense please do leave a review**

**Haaaaaaaa**

**~HAPPY NEW YEAR! PEW PEW PEW~**

Chapter Five:

"UUUOOOOOO!" Gintoki yelled furiously as he made a dive towards a certain ninja who suffers hemorrhoid. The mentioned ninja just exited Edo Hospital, engrossed with the latest issue of JUMP.

"JUMP! GIVE ME JUMP!" Gintoki screamed as he collided with Hattori Zenzou.

"Ah. Ouch."

Gintoki immediately released his end of the rolled up thick JUMP magazine. He looked away. He pinky found its way to his nose. His expression twitched. "Ah gomenasai. Its okay, I don't feel like reading JUMP anymore." He walked away without another thought.

The other end of the rolled up thick JUMP magazine happens to be in the certain ninja behind. He was on the ground, with his behind facing the vast wide sky.

...

"Gin-san, did you buy toilet paper?" Shinpachi questioned as soon as the front door slide open.

"Ah I forgot, aha aha aha." Gintoki replied twitchingly smiling.

Shinpachi gasped. "Gi- Gin-san, ano what's wrong!? What happened?"

"Ah Gin-chan, you are drunk aren't you. Your face looks like sh*t getting wiped by paper planksh."

Gintoki grinned sadisticly.

...

"Ahhhhhhhh, Shinpachi, hellepe me ahhhh Shinpachi yo."

"Urusei! Gin-san its just JUMP. Anyway how did you lost her?"

"Gin-chan, buy me sukonbu."

"Ahhhh woman are so troublesome. I don't know. She disappear like **** and **** in ****."

"OI! OI! WHAT IS THIS! YOU SHOULDN'T SAY THIS KIND OF STUFF!"

"Ah your so noisy."

"Gin-chan what is **** in ****?"

"Brats should shut up. Its already censored to "****" so whats the problem."

"Gin-san, go buy toiler paper already. It has been four days."

"Ahhhhhh Shinpachi-kun I do-" The front door slide opened.

"Excuz me, is this teh Yorozuya Gin-chan?"

"Hurray Gin-chan a customer." A scrawny man with an annoying face stood in the center, either side with burly thugs. Gintoki sat up on the couch as Kagura sat down next to him. Shinpachi ushered them in.

"You guys do anything for money riiiiiight?" He asked as he sat down on the couch across Gintoki. Gintoki got his pinky up in his nose, squirming, trying to find some gold. His lazy dead fish eye looking straight ahead.

"Keep talking old geezer." Kagura impatiently voiced out. It has been weeks since their last job.

"Oi you brat, can't you seeee I'm still in my youth hrrrmmm?!"

"Your face looks like somebody whose children and grandkids left to rot in the circus."

A vein popped comically on the scrawny man's forehead. "Excuz me, brats should know their place-"

"You shitty brat! Who are you to insult Young Master like that!" One of the thugs yelled.

"Maaah, maah, calm down. This brat here is going through that ah... You know that ah enough already." Gintoki scratched his head.

"Enough chit-chat. Give them the photo." The silent bodyguard took out a piece of photo from his sleeve and tossed it at the coffee table in the center.

"Find her."

"EEEEEHHHHHHHHH!" The natural white permhead yelled as he saw a familiar woman, in her 20s, with dark green hair, striking crimson eyes.

**P.s. Oh and my 9 yr old laptop broke down, so once again pardon me for minor mistakes , will you :}}**


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